Awesome

“Yeah. She was awesome. I mean, you should’ve seen her. If you were there last night, you would’ve seen how awesome she was. I mean, man. What an awesome mind she has. The girl’s got brains, unlike the other girls I’ve dated in the past. She is something else, man, and by that I mean she’s out-of-this-world awesome. You should’ve seen her. I told you it would be awesome if you could join us. Why didn’t you?” he said.

“I had to stay at the office until ten, and by that time I was already exhausted, so I went home directly,” his friend said.

“Man, what an awesome girl she was. She’s pretty, sure, but man, how smart she was. Awesome. Gosh, I can’t even begin to describe her. She had this awesome way of talking, which is out-of-this-world enchanting. I mean, the way her mouth moved, the way she spoke her words, and the way she expressed whatever was on her mind. I just sat there with my mouth open and said very little, but it’s awesome because I learned tons of things about her.”

“Like what?”

“Well, I’ve learned that she’s a writer. Awesome, right? She writes stories and stuff. Gosh, what an awesome girl. And when I asked her what kinds of stories she writes, she went on to elaborate about these imaginary people she has created in her mind and brought to life on paper. Like this awesome knight who served a lonely queen in a long-forgotten kingdom. And this hunk of a lumberjack who lived in the woods who was actually a living saint. Or this guy who found a doorway in an awesome museum that led to 18th century Philippines. And many other stories like that.”

“So she writes for a living?”

“Not only that,” he said. “She also does other awesome things like act on stage, play the cello for an orchestra, volunteer for an orphanage, manage her own events company, do modeling on the side, climb mountains, grow exotic flowers, maintain a museum, collect rare and out-of-print books, paint portraits, make chocolates, write poems, teach physics at a university…”

“So she’s a female Jack of all trades?” his friend said.

“Awesome, right?”

“Awesome.”

“I know, right? So I told her, ‘You’re so awesome’. She just smiled. I said, ‘You’re the most awesome girl I’ve ever dated in my life…'” He stopped smiling. “But somehow this angered her. Things were not so awesome after that. She said, ‘A date? What do you mean, a date? Are you mad? This isn’t a date. What on earth gave you that idea?’ She stood up hurriedly and left our table, which embarrassed and depressed me, but man oh man oh man, you should’ve seen the way she walked – pure drop-dead awesome. I never saw any girl move like that in my life. Such finesse, such grace, such alluring awesomeness.”

“So the night ended badly.”

“Yes. But what’s awesome, though, is that she hasn’t unfriended me yet in Facebook. There is hope after all. Just this afternoon, I PMed her and told her how sorry I was that I offended her, and I repeated my praises, telling her how awesome she was, and so on and so forth, and I said it would be awesome if we could meet again.”

“And what did she say?”

“Well, I need your help here,” he said. He opened his smartphone and continued, “Let me read to you her reply, ‘The word ‘awesome’ has over a hundred synonyms. Consult a Thesaurus.’ My question is, is that a yes?”

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