There is something I must tell you. There is no easier way of breaking this to you, but…
It’s over between us.
I’m sorry if it sounds harsh, but I can’t express it any other way.
I can’t see you anymore. We can’t see each other anymore. It’s not you, it’s me. (I know that that is so cliche. Those very words have undoubtedly been exchanged between lovers a billion times throughout human history. But it’s the truth.)
There’s nothing wrong with you; rather, there’s everything wrong with me.
I may be able to explain my reasons for leaving more clearly and in detail in the distant future, if our paths will ever cross again, but not right now. Right now, I just want, or rather, I just need to go away.
I am packing my things as I write this. By the time you will receive this letter, I would already be somewhere far away.
I will never forget you. Your memory will forever burn in my mind and heart. I remember the first time that I saw you. It was inside the Emergency Room of Chien Shen Hospital. It was evening, and you were sitting on a wooden chair beside another nurse. You were entertaining a couple of patients. You kept your hair behind your head and you held on to the chair to keep your balance. The first thing I noticed were your eyes and face. Then, I noticed your complexion, how smooth it was, like porcelain. Your presence in that place of pain was medicine itself.
I must confess something. Remember the second time I returned to the E. R.? It wasn’t accidental. I deliberately threw myself down the stairs just so I could see you again. The third, fourth, fifth, and sixth instances weren’t accidental, either.
I treasured every second that we were together. I couldn’t believe my luck. How could someone like you fall for someone like me? I had to slap my face every time I got home just to check whether I was dreaming or not. I was in cloud 9 every single day, and nothing else mattered to me than seeing you and hearing your voice each day.
But as they say, all good things must come to an end. And this is where it all ends for the two of us. From the bottom of my heart, I am truly sorry for the pain that I am now causing you. I know that you will never forgive me for this. I will understand.
But you will eventually get over me. You will eventually forget me. When I am gone from your life, how many men will hurl themselves at your feet? A hundred, at the very least. The guys who are queuing for your heart are too many.
There are so many guys who are more worthy of you than me. Remember Dr. Lim who is training for Orthopedics? He obviously adores you. If it weren’t unethical for a nurse to punch a doctor in the face for flirting with his girlfriend, I would’ve done it a long, long time ago.
Take care, always.